Meeting facilitation is definitely more art than science. I’ve developed some good habits that reduce the changes of getting caught by surprise, but no amount of preparation will outwit an unknowing or deliberately talkative stakeholder. And even with the best techniques you can get caught tongue-tied.
In response to a post about managing multiple conference call participants, Jenny Nunemacher asked:
One area that I struggle with is how to politely interrupt to get meetings back on track (either during teleconferences or face-to-face meetings). I find that I want to wait for an obvious lull, but I’ve received feedback from a supervisor that I need to be more assertive in this area. Any suggestions?
So today I’d like to chat about interrupting people. Because I know, like me and Jenny, you’ve probably been in each of the following situations:
- You interrupt someone abruptly and end up apologizing.
- You interrupt someone only to find out you really needed the information they were working their way towards giving you.
- You don’t interrupt someone and you don’t accomplish your meeting objectives.
- You politely steer the conversation. Your approach is so delicate that no one notices. After the meeting you sneak yourself a pat on the back.
Yes, we each have our star moments. But for every star moment there are probably a few that we run over our minds for weeks on end wondering what we could have done differently. Over the years, I’ve found that I’m best at interrupting certain stakeholder “types”. For example, I’m really good at controlling the conversation with creative, marketing types. After a few meetings I can get into their viewpoint and intuitively know when they are heading off track versus when they are circling around to a point I need to pay attention to.
As an independent contractor I’ve found I’m much less prone to interrupt than when I was a full-time employee. It’s not just that I’m getting paid by the hour 
, it’s that I don’t typically have quite as much rapport with my stakeholders and so I tend to let them carry on a bit more rather than risk being rude.
In my old days I ran some pretty tight meetings. I once promised to kick a director in development out of the room if he disrupted the team again. [It was an extreme situation, he was facing some severe personal issues and acting like the bad kid in the class in one of my use case meetings on a particularly gnarly issue.] I simply said something along the lines of “If you don’t stop disrupting this meeting, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” He quickly quieted down and was focused for the next 30 minutes. I was glad I didn’t have to follow through on my promise.
But all of this begs the question. When you do want to interrupt, how do you do it? In many cases, especially with new stakeholders, I do feel that waiting for a lull, no matter how brief, is appropriate. And in that lull, you can ask a question to redirect the conversation. One of my favorites is “I think I’m missing something here, can you explain how this relates back to [insert problem to be solved.]” The trick is to do this with 100% sincerity. You have to believe they might be heading in the right direction even if your prior experience would lead you to believe they are probably off track.
Another statement I use for redirection is “I can see that’s important, but if we talk about that now I won’t have XYZ ready [reference a deadline or deliverable in such a way that it adds value to the stakeholder]. Do you mind if we stay focused on [the topic at hand] for this discussion?”
Sometimes, almost unconsciously, I interrupt with my body language. I might put my hand out indicating it’s time to pass the conversation on. I am a feverish writer during meetings, so if I haven’t written anything down in a few minutes, make direct eye contact, and nod, it sends a signal that I’d like to say something. If I can get the lull, then I jump in to redirect the conversation to the topic at hand.
All of this said, there are stakeholders and situations that have just gotten the best of me. For example, there was one sales executive in upper management that I could never prod along. If I tried to interrupt or redirect, the conversation simply took longer until he made his way through what he had to say, how he wanted to say it. I learned that interrupting was pretty much useless and practiced patience instead.
I’m sure you have your best stories and your war stories. I’d be interested to hear how you handle the issue of needing or wanting to interrupt and the latent anxiety that comes with keeping quiet when you know a meeting is heading for poor results.
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By Laura Brandenburg. Laura Brandenburg is an independent business analyst consultant. She is passionate about the BA profession and is committed to contributing by supporting this blog as a forum for business analysts to build on each other's experiences. View more blog posts by Laura Brandenburg |
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
When interrupting speakers, no matter the type, I try to combine four things.
1. Humility
2. A reason for the interruption
3. An out for the speaker
4. An apology for the interruption.
It typically goes something like this…”Excuse me for the interruption, and I apologize now if you were on your way to getting to this, but I’m having some trouble understanding [blah blah blah]. Can you elaborate a little?”
There are of course several variations of this, but basically this approach shows respect for the speaker, gives a subtle red flag if he or she HAS strayed from the point OR shows he or she that the audience is drifting, and shows that I am no better than anyone else and need some help understanding the message.
It also allows me to gently, yet assertively, get what I need from the speech sooner. This is important, because my question might have a context that is important to understand in order to get the most out of the rest of the speech. Waiting until the end destroys the ability to acquire context, and therefore might affect the ability for me to retain important knowledge.
My two cents
Doug. That’s a great two cents. I like your approach and will have to try that out in my next long-winded discussion!
Hi Laura,
I’ve found most people don’t mind the interruption if done as nicely as you and Doug suggest and I’ve found that the techniques you describe above work very well for me too. However, when a person is dominating the meeting with their agenda aka the sales executive they are likely to resent the interruption no matter how nicely made. So I’ve tried the following technique – I make a comment on the person’ s last point and in the same breath I ask one of the other stakeholders how they would like to address the next topic of the meeting. This usually stops the flow because the dominating person has to think for a minute – what is she talking about? She agreed with me but now I’m not quite sure? Usually that moment of confusion is enough for the other meeting participants to breathe a sigh of relief and they are ready to jump into the next topic to push the meeting forward. Its a little awkward, but in some situations I’ve found it a non-confrontational way to get things going again. I would follow up with the person after the meeting, ask them what their issue was and then reiterate the meeting rules.
On one team I worked on there was very good rapport within the team but our lead SME (who was very nice) tended to take over the meetings by bringing up related issues that we were getting to in another session. We rarely got through our meeting agendas as a result. So I bought a small stuffed bear whom we christened “Talky” and only the person who held Talky could talk. This helped no end. Talky left messages for people thanking them for their input and he brought coffee to our meetings, so he was a well loved bear!
Hi Caroline,
Thanks for your comment and ideas! I like the Talky Bear. That keeps things fun and light while also focused on productive meetings.
Laura
Everyone in a meeting is an adult and in a business situation. It is embarrassing to call attention to the interruption because you are essentially reminding a participant in front of their peers that they have exhibited bad behavior in the meeting, a social faux pa. I have always considered a valid interruption – one that is on point rather than one which is off topic or disruptive of the meeting’s purpose – as a demonstration that the interrupter is so excited about the topic of discussion or with the idea that they want to present that they can’t contain it. I’ll take that interruption any day. It certainly is better than the opposite: no reaction from anyone or universal agreement with everything just to get the meeting over.